Fear of flying Q&A

plane blue sky

Due to the popularity of our ‘How to overcome a fear of flying‘ post we’ve asked the author, Peter Owen from Fly and Be Calm, to answer your questions on what his audio course can help with when it comes to a fear of flying.  All questions were submitted on our Facebook page and Peter’s answers are below.

Peter Owen of Fly and Be Calm

My fear is turbulence:

I’m so scared of flying, I have a panic attack when I get on a plane. It spoils my build up to the holiday, my fear is turbulance, no idea where this fear has come from – Sharon Reeves

Peter’s answer:

Hi Sharon, fear of turbulence is extremely common. Although we all know it is safe, even those of us who aren’t afraid don’t particularly like it. I advise you to use the audio system beforehand and imagine you are on a plane going through a little turbulence. Once the fear is gone it obviously won’t mean you will start looking forward to it but you will feel more neutral to it if it does happen which is the most important thing. This will allow you to look forward to your holiday and also if a little turbulence does occur, you can feel confident knowing that you have a powerful tool in the unlikely event that a little anxiety does crop up.

I fly even though I hate it:

I fly but is a necessary evil for me I hate flying, I wish planes would say turning left, right, engines slowing. The effects it has on our body would be understood and expected. I went on a flight which had a camera on we watched us leaving ground etc it was really good also had speed and height which for a nervous flyer made me feel better – Debbie Hickmott

Peter’s answer:

Hi Debbie, it sounds like you have a background anxiety about the unexpected twists and turns that naturally occur on a flight. By removing the anxiety that drives that need to know what is going to happen and when by using the system, it will change your focus of attention. You may be reading a book and simply not notice that the plane is changing direction for example. This is the kind of change that occurs once you remove anxiety from the equation.

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My dad refuses to fly:

Both myself and my dad have a fear of flying and whilst I try to conquer the fear and make myself get on a plane, my dad refuses. What’s really strange is that he was in the royal air force for most of his career and flew all over the world, but now be won’t go near a plane and hasn’t done for years. All our family holidays involved a boat and never a plane. I would love it if we could both overcome our fear of flying – Karen Craddock

Peter’s answer:

Hi Karen, the great thing is that you have a desire to conquer your fear. You would simply imagine flying and allow some of the fear to come up, then run through the track. This is often enough to convince people that there is real power in these tools and gives them the confidence to take the next step and book a flight.

The situation with your dad could be a little more complex and I would need further information to give a proper answer. However if he saw the change in you after using the system, what he could do is remove his fear whilst knowing that doing so doesn’t have to mean that he has to fly – he can still choose not to if that is what he wishes. However once the fear at the thought of it has gone, he might be a little more open minded.

It’s important to never pressure someone into it though. If either of you did try it out, change can occur very quickly…in as little as 10 or 20 minutes in many cases and often thought of flying just feels very different afterwards.

My fear of flying is getting worse as I get older:

I fly several times a year & as I’m getting older my fear of flying is getting worse. it’s because I have no control & I hate turbulence & I start to panic & cry – Erica Doe

Peter’s answer:

Hi Erica, it seems there are multiple things going on here. If you were to use the system you should break the problem up into two – control and turbulence. Think back to your earliest memory of not being in control; it doesn’t even have to be plane related. If anything specific comes up use the 10 minute audio track on that memory and repeat if needed until all anxiety is gone. Next do the same and imagine you are on a plane experiencing turbulence and run the track once more until all that feeling is gone. It’s possible yours is what we call a complex phobia, only a part of which is a fear of flying. By following these instructions though and keeping the tracks with you on the flight you have a great chance of beating this.

My fear is worse on a return flight:

I always seem to be worse on the return flight,in fact the last flight resulted in a panic attack on take off. It’s more the sheer speed on take off and all the physical sensations during take off and descent (although not the actual touchdown) that I have issues with.I intend to fly again next year but really don’t want to have to resort to medication to do so – Amanda Jayne Smith

Peter’s answer:

Hi Amanda Jayne Smith, when it comes nearer to the time it might be worthwhile you trying the system out. Leading up to the flight you would focus on imagining the sensations that cause you anxiety and go through the 10 minute track. This should remove most of the fear and it can be repeated if needed on the plane. I once helped someone who had an intense fear of flying and all the fear disappeared after just 10 minutes. She flew out and didn’t have any fear but on the return flight she realised that she still had a fear about flying at night. For some reason her subconscious mind still associated flying at night with danger. Because she had the tracks on her phone, she simply listened to them whilst thinking about flying at night and this removed all fear about that too.

I hate being in the air for hours:

Taking off and landing I’m ok with it’s the rest of the flight I hate being up in the air for hours I can’t physically move because of fear and unable to use the toilet I just stay in my sit with ear plugs in and hate the whole flight! ? – Vanessa Stelfox

Peter’s answer:

Its funny how varied our fears are when it comes to flying. With yours in particular I bet you could use the system midflight and remove the fear. Always best to use beforehand though to remove the fear at the thought of it so you can at least look forward to the flight.

My fear starts at the airport:

I am terrified, the lead up to holidays I live with but the fear starts as soon as I get in airport I have tried everything. I am sick, get the shakes and cry I would love to be one of the people who looks so calm and laughing and enjoying there flight. Also I feel so sorry for my partner who has to put up with me it must surely spoil his time! – Linda Andrews

Peter’s answer:

Hi Linda Andrews, the system is great it getting rid of the pre-flight jitters. In fact once the fear is gone, even on the flight no fear comes up in most cases.

I had a previous bad experience:

I’m a very anxious flyer I have to have medication from the doctor to get on a plane. I was ok until years ago we took off from Orlando but there was a hurricane over the Atlantic and it was really bad turbulence and you couldn’t see anything out of the window so we had to stop in New York. Now the slight bump and I think I’m going to die, please help me as I’m flying to Dominion Republic this year and at the moment I don’t want to go  Jane Hilton 

Peter’s answer:

Hi Jane, its quite common for an incident like that to create a phobic response in someone like it has done with you. Its important to bear in mind that although it can feel unpleasant, turbulence is safe. Currently your subconscious mind has attached danger to the idea of turbulence and is trying to protect you by creating anxiety. In this kind of situation, you would apply the system first to the memory that caused it until all emotion gone from it (this would typically take 10 or 20 minutes). After this it is likely that you won’t be able to bring up fear at the thought of turbulence. If you have the system with you, it can be reapplied on the plane if necessary to keep you feeling calm.

Flying makes me physically sick:

I do fly as it would mean my daughter would never have got abroad but It makes me physically ill. I cry, have panic attacks and if there’s even a hint of turbulence I freak out. My daughter thankfully does not bat an eyelid and has no fear. Any tips would be great – Karen Marshall

Peter’s answer:

Hi Karen, I could give you a more thorough answer with more information. However it is basically your survival mechanism kicking in when it isn’t required. Using the audio course would allow you to break up the fear into different segments. Often it is useful to focus on a specific early memory if you have one from when the fear started (many people don’t recall so don’t worry if not). Next focus on each of the specific sections of the flight that bother you. This could even include driving to the airport or the night before. Each section that brings up any anxiety, apply to the track to it and you will soon be left feeling calm. In a sense your survival system is being told that it doesn’t need to activate any more on the things that you focus on. Literally just a couple of listens might be all that is required in many cases (10-20 minutes). For others it might take a bit more systematic work to plough through it all, but being able to feel calm about each thing that you work will give you confidence that you are heading in the right direction. Good luck!

My fear is worse as I get older:

My fear has got worse as I get older. I’ve done Australia and the Far East in my youth but struggle with Europe now. My other fear is passing it onto my daughter. Actual flying is the worst can just about cope with take off and landing – Clare Carr-Duff

Peter’s answer:

Hi Clare, it seems that like many people, you fly despite the fear. It’s difficult to say for sure why you have developed this fear of “actual flying” without further questioning. However if you wish to be rid of this fear response, you would imagine flying to try and build up the fear as much as possible. Next you would run through the Fly and Be Calm fear eraser track whilst trying to maintain the fear. For most a few listens should be enough to remove most of the fear. Often the fear doesn’t come back from that point on at all. If a little does come back mid-flight, it is easy to go through the track once more to remove it.

My fear started when I had kids:

I’m terrified of flying I never used to be it all started after I had my kids and the first time we all flew together I actually sit in the brace position on take off until we are up – Sue Ewans

Peter’s answer:

Hi Sue, it is actually very common for the fear of flying to develop after having children. Once you had children your subconscious mind magnified the danger associated with flying and therefore a lot of fear is generated. Our system offers the likelihood that you can get quickly back to the perception of flying you had before having children, allowing you to feel calm once more.

I know it’s irrational but I can’t help it:

I didn’t fly for 10 years due to my fear of flying. I have tried hypnotherapy, drugs from the doctor and none of them work. I’m not sure if I believe anything can ever get rid of my fear. I flew last year with Thomas cook to Majorca as it was only a short flight. Although I was still terrified the copious amounts of booze helped. The flight back was a different story and I was a blubbering mess. My biggest fear is that the plane is just going to fall from the sky and I’ll know I’m going to die. I know it’s irrational but I can’t help it. I’d love to conquer my fear so I could get on a plane without suffering for weeks before and be able to enjoy my holiday without the fear of having to fly back – Emma Walshaw

Peter’s answer:

Hi Emma, here is a common a key distinction that is present in most people with a fear of flying. Logically and rationally they know that their fear isn’t warranted yet there is a competing view from their subconscious minds that says the opposite. The subconscious mind always wins in this conflict and the survival mechanism kicks in. The cause is different for most people but regardless of that, our system can align the subconscious mind to that of our rational mind. Once this occurs it feels almost odd as to why were scared in the first place. Length of time you have had the fear plays no role in how quickly it can be removed so keep an open mind and give it a try…I think you will be pleasantly surprised!

I have to be sedated to fly:

I was in travel a long time but ironically I’m petrified of flying. I’ve cancelled trips and biz meetings and have to be sedated to fly. I have tried rieki, hypnosis, self help videos, logical webinars and even understanding physics of it all works – Sian Murphy

Peter’s answer:

Hi Sian, your situation is very common. For any therapy to be effective it needs to access your subconscious mind which generates your emotions and make the changes at that level. Hypnosis and other therapies aim to do that but this system is the one method that is extremely reliable at bypassing what is known is the critical faculty in order to make these changes. If you feel any fear now at the thought of flying you should know very quickly that a change has occurred after using the system. It can even be used on the day of the flight and often remove all fear.

I just want to enjoy a flight:

I’d love to be like all of those people who just walk onto the plane, read a book & then land the other side. Suffered as a nervous flyer for years & I’m in awe of all those people who think nothing of flying 🙁 – Natasha Smith

Peter’s answer:

Hi Natasha, our audio course really does offer a great chance that you will become one of those people who feels no anxiety about getting on a plane. If you can bring up anxiety just by thinking about it I recommend using the system today. If not wait until closer to your flight so you have some anxiety to work with and you will be able to feel it just drain away.

The air hostess had to calm me down:

Just returned from salou on Saturday after plucking up the courage to fly, Iv never been so scared in my life the air hostess had to come and calm me down I couldn’t breath and was crying it’s embarrassing looking back now but it’s a fear I don’t think I can overcome on my own, I have been offered a trip to New York next year and there’s no way I can get on another plane at the moment so will be missing out on a trip of a lifetime – Gemma Carey

Peter’s answer:

Hi Gemma, sorry to hear about your experience on the flight recently. If you were to use the system, I would begin by focusing on the memories of that recent flight with the Fear Eraser audio track until all fear and embarrassment disappear. Next I would use your imagination to try to bring up the fear at the thought of flying again to New York and use the track to remove that. Once that is gone it can give you confidence that these tools can really make a difference. At this point many are curious whether the fear has really gone and wonder if it will come back. For most it doesn’t come back but even if some does, it can just be reapplied on the flight if needed to nip the anxiety spiral in the bud.

The thought of flying puts me in a bad mood:

I will get on a plane but the weeks leading up to the flight and the actual flight I’m an absolute nightmare totally irrational bad tempered and just spend the flight crying people have said why put yourself through it. I actually flew to Las Vegas the other week it was for my wedding none of my guests came on our flight some have been on a plane with me before once is usually enough travelling with me. On the way back they had covered some seats up next to me I didn’t take much notice until one of the pilots sat in it seriously I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. So I’d love to win this course firstly for myself so I can relax on a flight and secondly for the sanity of my husband and the poor passengers who have to put up with me crying –  Louise Dixon

Peter’s answer:

Hi Louise, thankfully the severity of fear plays no role in how easy it is to remove. Because you are able to bring up fear on demand I recommend using the system straight away. If it doesn’t significantly reduce your ability to feel the fear within the first week of purchase (unless you are one of the winners of the competition of course!) there is a money back guarantee.

Reviews from Fly and Be Calm customers

Dave was due to fly a few days after the first section of the video. He was very nervous and only had time to listen 5 minutes of the Fly and Be Calm Fear Eraser. Despite this a decades old phobia disappeared…

James has his friends Lauren and Joe to thank for buying him the course before their holiday to Cancun:

“I am writing this from Riviera Maya, Mexico where we flew into yesterday (Cancun) on my first long haul flight from London Gatwick.  Which was amazing…thanks to Fly and be Calm.

I had never taken my seatbelt off in all the years I have flew anywhere, never went to a toilet on a plane and usually don’t lift my head from looking at my knees. But after a week of Fly and be Calm and Hypno 3 on the plane before takeoff… WOW.

As soon as we were up, which I watched all the way from our window, the seatbelt light went off, and so did my seatbelt followed by a walk about the plane and several visits to the toilet. I also looked out and seen some amazing views on our way over, which are photographed or now on video… It was amazing.

So I would like to say a massive thank you and hugs to Lauren and Joe for thinking of purchasing Fly and be Calm for me and of course, you for producing such an amazing life changing audio course. Can’t wait to do it again and again (unless I decide to stay in Mexico lol ).

Thank you all you have all changed my life… In a week” – James Stevenson

 

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5 Comments

  • Alan house says:

    Not quite the reply perhaps as I love flying the take off in the air the landing the airports.the whole buzz of it.over the years I have had a couple of really scary flights twice blown engines and couple of very bad landings. But still can’t wait to get back up there get up there folks and enjoy it.

  • Amanda mason says:

    Not a normal fear of flying question
    My son suffers from a severe nut allergy and must carry an epipen
    I have heard some scary stories recently regards other airlines asking allergy suffers not to fly etc could you reassure me if your policy please

  • Esther says:

    Hi I have always hated flying because my ears pop and can’t hear for a few days after what’s the best thing to buy so this doesn’t happen thanks …

  • SParsons says:

    Some companies planes are so old! B757’s (20+ years old). How safe?

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